


Floating

by deltachye



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: (head in hands) bro why did this stupid drama kid game get so intense, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Gift Fic, One Shot, Smutty, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23555113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/pseuds/deltachye
Summary: [reader x chikage utsuki]i caught you skinny dipping deep inside my head.[dw]
Relationships: Utsuki Chikage/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 57
Collections: Gift Fics





	Floating

****

**[floating - alina baraz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8t5mqYO9Yc) **

* * *

**2am and i’m still breathing  
staring at my thoughts trailing up to the ceiling**  
It’s no good for you to be falling in love with men who won’t ever love you back.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with him. He’s tall and handsome. He’s kind, and you can see that he treats his juniors with respect. You should’ve been jealous of him, this ‘Mr. Perfect’, but of course you fall to the woes of fragile humanity and find that you’re attracted to him. How could you not be? But it was never meant to be more than a workplace crush; somebody to glance at and sigh at dreamily during a long OT shift.

That’s all.

As expected he’s popular amongst men and women alike. At staff parties, they always seem to revolve around him. Utsuki’s a master of party tricks after all, and you find yourself victim to one early on in the night.

“Which hand is the coin in, [Surname]-san?”

Your face is a bit warm from the drinks and you can hear your co-workers laugh at you sympathetically. Nobody’s been able to one-up Utsuki yet. In all honesty you had no idea where that silver piece had gone; it’d just up and vanished between his slender fingers somehow.

“Neither!” you exclaimed boldly, for no real reason besides the fact that you’re a little bit drunk and a little bit childish. For a split second his expression faltered, something flashing behind his aquamarine eyes. You barely noticed it and moments later, you’d already forgotten.

“Open your hands already, Utsuki-kun!” the guy beside him jeered drunkenly. He jumped, startled.

“Right…”

He unfurled his fingers the way lilies bloom, and you stared down at two empty palms.

“What the hell!? You’ve been cheating us this whole time?”

“[Surname]-san’s just got a good eye,” he hummed nonchalantly, and despite the warmth of the liquor and fire of the barbeque, you felt a chill rush through your body.

**It's in the way you see  
You know what I need**  
“[Surname]-san.”

“Ah—Utsuki-san!” Frazzled by his sudden appearance, you fumbled with the tall stack of papers that you’ve been trying to photocopy. The machines here seem to have a sense of urgency and never fail to fail whenever you have an imminent deadline. With a wry almost pitiful smile, he pointed.

“Do you need some help?”

You would’ve liked to say ‘no’ like some strong independent woman, but you’ve done everything you could think of to fix the printer—including kicking it and turning it off and on again—and nodded sheepishly. “Thank you… sorry to trouble you.”

“It’s no problem. It looks like the machine’s out of order.”

“It is,” you sighed exasperatedly. “It was just working ten minutes ago.”

“Must be bad luck?” he replied, but his tone was oddly cryptic. He bent over, reaching past you to press something. You inhaled sharply as his face moved closer to yours. A sweet, almost feminine cologne wafted over you. You couldn’t place it.

“…there. Should be working now.”

You’d spent so much time staring at him that you missed what he’d done to fix it. But as he talked, the machine begun to beep and whir again, bringing you a fresh sigh of relief.

“Thank you so much. I owe you one.”

“By the way,” he mentioned as you begun feeding documents into the slot. “You can just call me Chikage.”

“Oh… are you sure?” He was a couple years your senior and had worked at this company for longer than you. He nodded, crossing his arms as he leant against the printer. Apparently, he didn’t have anywhere he needed to go, despite looking like he was in a rush earlier. Your heart fluttered as he knocked his clear glasses up his nose.

“Only if I can call you [Name].”

You pressed your lips together to contain the size of your smile, quickly turning your eyes back to the papers. As you looked away, you missed the dark glow behind his fake grin.

“Well, if you insist.”

**It's in the way that you're holding me, bringing me close  
You know that I won't let go**  
“Dammit!” you seethed, just about ready to punch a hole through your screen. The co-worker who sat next to you, Kougami, looked over in concern.

“What’s wrong, [Surname]?”

“My computer’s acting up.” You showered her your screen and how it was frozen no matter what keys you pressed. Weird green lines ran through the screen, flickering. “I called IT and they had the audacity to tell me that there’s nothing they can do. It was _fine_ before lunch break!”

“Are you going to be able to finish your work today?” she asked worriedly. You groaned, frustrated and exhausted.

“I dunno. If it’s really broken, then I’m screwed. I only have the spreadsheets saved onto this desktop since they were rebooting the cloud, so the only thing I can do is start over.”

“What’s going on?”

You jumped, the suddenly male voice unexpected. Kougami was looking up at somebody behind you. Whirling around in your seat, you gasped,

“Chikage-kun?!”

“Couldn’t help but overhear.” He leant on the back of your chair, the weight of him leaning you forward slightly. “What’s this about your computer?”

“Ah… well, I guess I’m cursed, because my computer’s broken with all the quarterly spreadsheets on it. I think I’m going to have to start over.”

“I wish I could help,” Kougami offered sadly. “But I’ve got to get home and start dinner…”

“No worries. Good work.” Kougami was a married woman, after all, and you wouldn’t want to inconvenience her by asking for help. You let out another sigh, not wanting to be pessimistic, but it wasn’t like this was an ideal situation. You were SOL and for _what_? After Kougami left, Chikage sat in her seat, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t suppose you know how to fix this, too?” you asked him wryly, but it was somewhat hopeful.

“It looks fried to me.”

So much for that. You shook your head disappointedly.

“But hey. If you need any help, I’d be happy to offer my assistance.”

“What?” you asked, genuinely surprised as you looked over to him. “No, I couldn’t ask you for that. Didn’t you already clock out?”

He shrugged. “I don’t mind. Just come for drinks with me after and I’ll call it even.”

“Oh, God—you’re a _lifesaver_ , Chikage-kun!”

He smiled, thumbing the motherboard in his pocket secretively. “Just helping out a friend.”

**It's in the way you touch me  
I don't know much about love**  
His metal ring was cold on your searing hot thigh. The moan escaped you feebly as his hand traveled upwards. Your body flinched away from him reflexively, but he didn’t stop.

“I’m not taking advantage of you or anything, am I?” he asked you, his friendly voice suddenly low and husky. After the two of you scrambled to finish your work, you went out for drinks as promised. But then one thing lead to another and now… you’re lying half-naked in his bed.

“No,” you breathed back, blood coursing through your feverish body. You’d had a few to drink, yes, but: “I’ve wanted this for a really long time.”

“…naughty girl.” He chuckled. Looking down at you with you staring up at him, it’s the closest you’ve ever been to him. There’s a faintly bitter smell of spirits between the two of you, but that sweet spring fragrance is back. It makes you melt into his sheets.

“Mm…!” You’re at a total loss for words, your eyelashes fluttering against your cheek as he touches you. Your whole body burns with desire. Despite being this close, his fingers are cool to the touch. The way they stroke you nimbly makes your hips buck upwards uncontrollably.

“How bad do you want me?” he asked quietly. You chewed on your bottom lip. His touch is barely-there against the fabric of your panties, and it’s driving you insane with how close he is.

“I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?”

You gasped when his thumb pressed against your lips, entering your mouth and hooking against your bottom teeth. It’s flavourless but domineering. You can sense a certain strength behind it that quite frankly scares you… but you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t like it. You lapped at his fingertip with your tongue, gazing up at him with wide eyes so that you wouldn’t miss a single line of his expression.

“I can do that for you.”

Your eyes squeezed shut and he stifled your moan with his hand, clasping it over your mouth as the other fingers curl up inside of you. He reaches deeply, probing, searching, _violating_ , and it feels so good that all you can do is weep for forgiveness. You’re forced to gasp for breath through your nose, heaving for the air that keeps you alive. He keeps you from it; he also breathes it into you. Chikage plays you like a fiddle until you’ve lost all that you are to him, and even after that, he’s not satisfied.

This isn’t love making. The way he rams into you, disregarding your strangled cries. He pulls your hair, ignoring how it hurts you. He bites your shoulder, leaving rings of teeth marks. And he never kisses you once. This isn’t love; it’s just sex, and only barely. It’s violence in pleasure.

And you kind of hate him for hooking you into it so easily.

**I let my worries go soon as you come through the door  
Thinking 'bout what it'd be like to be yours**  
“[Name].”

“Chikage.”

He flashes a wink before turning back to his colleague. You sink your teeth into your sore bottom lip, continuing to the board room, and walk past him without another word.

It’s been like this for a while now.

You’re a grown woman and he’s a grown man. There’s nothing wrong with having a relationship where the two of you just use each other for physical pleasures. Still, somehow, it feels _wrong_ with how much you… like him? Adore him? Are interested in him? Resent him?

You always go to his place. He never asks to visit yours, and you don’t think you have the courage to even ask him. Once you’re done—or, you should say, once _he’s_ done with you—he pays for your taxi home. You’ve never slept over once. You don’t even think you’ve seen any other rooms of his apartment beside his bedroom and the washroom. It’s increasingly clear with each tryst that you’re just some fuck buddy, and that he was never actually interested in you. But his smile sings of aged love letters and coffee; his viridescent hair, soft in your fingers, feels woven from something otherworldly. You can’t blame him for anything; you can only blame yourself.

And still, you take the elevator ride down alone shifting a scarf over your neck, knowing that you’re not strong enough to stand up for yourself. You’ll be back here again no matter how many times you whisper, _never again_.

**Everything you do  
I want to do it with you  
Don't ever want to miss you**  
“You know, Chikage…”

He massages the red lines on your wrists after slipping his knotted tie from them. Humming gently, he raises your hands to kiss the bruises, looking at your eyes expectantly for you to continue.

“How much longer are we going to keep doing this?”

You’d steeled yourself for the question, needing days to work up the nerve. As you expected and feared, his fingers slowly slipped away from yours. You had to stop yourself from reaching back out.

“Do you want to stop?” he asked neutrally.

“No,” you replied, far too hastily to be proud of. “But I just wonder…”

The insecurity in your voice makes you wince. You’d like to take it back, but he’s already heard you.

“I’m thinking of acting,” he said all of the sudden, the topic change so drastic that for a second you wondered if you blacked out and missed something. You blinked.

“O-oh, I see…?”

“I’m joining a troupe. Moving out of this place soon, probably.”

Was he just trying to be nice in turning you down? You clenched your teeth together, willing the stinging pain behind your eyes away. You weren’t a kid. You could take being rejected, especially since there’d never even been a relationship in the first place.

“That’s nice. Good for you, Chi—”

“So we’ll probably meet at your place after.”

The cool, almost cold fingers on your cheek startled you. His eyes are gentle, and for the first time you see a peek of sadness, something inexplicable that makes your heart ache. You reached up to hold his palm to your cheek, but he’s already pulled away, rolling off the bed.

“I’m going to shower. Do you want to go first?”

“Um, no,” you stammered. “That’s fine. Go ahead.”

He left wordlessly. You watched him go, eyes tracing the form of his muscular back. Maybe you’re just grasping for straws here, desperate like every sad little girl chasing the wiles of pretty boys. But the tears rolls down your cheeks regardless and you clenched onto his sheets, feeling his scent hug you the way he never has, and probably never will. He doesn’t ground you; he makes you float. Someday he’ll vanish and you’ll sink. You are addicted. He makes you high.

And for that, you know that you won’t be able to leave.

**I’m swimming in everything you said  
& _I’m thinking about jumping in instead._**

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: https://deltachye.tumblr.com/  
> 


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